“You know it is Pajama Day tomorrow…right?” has to be the most dreaded thing a child under ten can possibly hope to tell you as you put the final touches on dinner. Far from being an easy morning the next day for you and a laid back comfy day of playful relaxation among peers for their teacher…it is actually a nightmare.
First of all it supposes that each child out there wears (or even has) pajamas in the first place. I don’t know about you but various members of my family sleep in t-shirts (I being one of them). So if you have more than one child attending the school in question (and I do) there is now a panic. “Everybody is wearing Pajamas tomorrow…can we go to the store and buy some?”-No, why should the imagination of a teacher fresh out of university (and obviously childless) cause me to part with the better part of $50 to clothe two children in “pajamas” they do not normally wear so that they can fully partake in “pajama day”?
OK…get past that…find the extra fifty bucks (forget having the dog groomed this month). The child conveying the message regarding the expected attire for the following morning has no clue that since it is now supper time any shopping for this night attire needs to happen immediately. So forget the other activities for the evening, mundane as they were (cleaning out the fridge and gathering garbage as “Garbage Pickup Day” is the same as “Pajama Day”). Hurriedly gulp down dinner so as to be able to cram this last-minute shopping spree in before bath time and bed.
You would think any pair of Pajamas would be fine for the pajama-less crowd. Not so. The store sales attendant is losing her mind trying to come up with sizes and colours so that your two offspring will actually “like” the pajamas enough to wear regularly at night so as to better justify this surprise expense.
All the way home you listen to who has the better pajamas…you are thinking that if it was not for the school these kids would already be home in bed asleep and you would have the fridge cleaned by now. Finally, the kids are washed and now in bed but not yet wearing the new pajamas as they have to be washed first. (!!)
Next morning arrives and everyone is excited to wear the new pajamas except you forgot to dry them and they are still in the washer. (!!) After putting the coveted sleepwear into to dryer you start breakfast and making lunches for the little darlings. Only to have your kid show up in the kitchen and tell you their teacher ALSO said to bring a pillow, plus their favourite toy and they are to wear slippers! Of course the teacher did. Up until now you have thought kindly of the woman who teaches this kid…who knew she could be so diabolical? Your children do not have slippers because they detest them. You point this out. Your beautiful child explains how all the other kids are going to make fun of them because they do not have slippers are NOT allowed to wear shoes on “Pajama day.”
At this point you realize that you are going to miss the school bus and agree to drive your offspring to school. Ah, yes not before the children race through the house and gather their pillows from their beds and their stuffed animals. Somebody’ stuffed animal is leaking his innards. You are asked to sew this before school.(!!) You mutter something (likely not repeatable) under your breath and decide to just put everyone in the car including the animal patient, the sewing kit, two pillows and another stuffed animal and back out of the driveway. Wait a minute…in seeing the cuddle stuff all got to the car you forgot the children’s lunches on the kitchen counter…race back in the driveway and run for the lunches. While navigating your neighborhood streets you are relishing the number of mandatory stops behind school busses and for stop signs as this affords you the precious moments to thread the needle and sew up the critter whose stuffing was falling out (there are only laws in place for cell phones and texting while driving….sewing that is definitely not the same).
Make a quick stop at the local discount store and grab two pairs of slippers socks that hopefully will fit the bill bringing the “Pajama Day’s” expense now up to well over $75 in total. Now at the school send the little ones in wishing them a “happy Pajama Day”-and torque off down the street heading in late to work.
You catch up with the small fry after school only to hear who had matching pajamas and who did not like your kids’ choice in pajamas. You are dying to ask what the teacher wore as pajamas but then gain…not unless the children volunteer.
Another day is over, suppertime finished, and a little voice says “I love my pajamas…can I sleep in them tonight…PLEASE?” NO…as bedtime is now very late because sitting on the school floor means these pajamas and pillows need to be washed and dried before bedtime. As you untangle the last pillow out of the wringer in the washer your eyes are green with envy as you imagine the teacher who decided on “Pajama Day” sitting in a bubble bath, sipping wine listening to music to unwind from the “fun” day she planned for your children.
No teacher should be ever allowed to declare a day “Pajama Day” unless she is responsible for offspring of her own and has suffered “Pajama Day” at least once herself…then again…if she has chances are there will be no such thing as “Pajama Day” on her watch.
The “pajama-less” Garden Goat