Last to use it

We have all seen it, had it happen in our homes, found it literally everywhere we are and yet no one knows who did it. The empty whatever. You open the fridge with the bowl of carefully chosen cereal in your hand anticipating the moment the milk meets the cereal and the proverbial snap, crack and pop. Wait a minute. The milk pitcher is empty…except for one drop. Nice. You look for another bag of milk only to discover that had you known the pitcher was empty in the first place you would have picked the milk up at the store the night before. Fine. You decide since cereal is over rated, toast might be a better option for breakfast and head for the bread.

After pulling the two lone pieces left in the bag out into broad daylight you realize that the center of the bread has been nibbled by some creature that detests the crusts. Definitely, the under 18 crowd (the over 18 crowd really don’t want anyone to ever know they would eat toast for breakfast so not cool). Forget it all, a nice glass of orange juice will suffice as you are already very late for work. Well, open the glass cupboard and all that stares back are the old assortment of various coffee cups added to your collection from well-meaning relatives who were stumped as to know how to acknowledge your birthday and Christmas. Ah, clean glass awaiting in the dishwasher…not…the teenager who was doing the dishes last night must have forgotten to put it on. Not the end of the world, turn the dishwasher on and figure that you can hit a drive-thru on your way to work.

Quick pit stop in the bathroom only to discover that the toilet roll is empty and still on the spool holder, with your underwear somewhere around your knees you hop around the bathroom bending in the cupboards only to discover there is no more paper available for your personal hygiene. This is now out of hand. You hike up the underwear and decide to try the other bathroom…you are in luck. As you struggle to get dressed including fresh underwear.

Now you can pretty much forget going through a drive thru now you only have enough time to get to work on time if you leave now. Out to the garage into the car, scream down the street and the gas light is now on. Don’t have any time to get gas really hoping that the drops left in the tank are enough to see you to your place of employment BEFORE you boss can get in to work for the day.

The whole way in to work you wonder what kind of family you are raising that won’t replace anything as it runs out. You play your life over and try to think what toys were thoughtlessly purchased in your children’s youth that contributed to the no-ownership for replacing anything and you wonder now with the teenage crowd how you can correct this at this stage.

Finally get to work, park and slither in to the office, ditch your coat and head for the coffee maker…wait there is only a half a cup of coffee to be had…could be worse put some water in and microwave. Open the fridge and lift the cream…there is not even a drop left. You take your water coffee slush (minus cream) and head back to your office feeling great…it seems all your co-workers were raised just like your kids. As you sit comfortably in your chair with the knowledge that you have raised just what society expects, someone who does not care if anything is ever left for anyone else…ever!

reminder to all to replace the toilet paperMe-first has got to go! Forget the teenagers they are already lost…must try harder with the younger crowd.

The Garden Goat


7 thoughts on “Last to use it

  1. I came across your blog this morning as a result of a tired, wandering mind clicking on things that seemed interesting. I have now read all your posts, and I think you’re great 🙂 I don’t have any kids of my own (yet) but in addition to the husband, I also live with a hippy-surfer-wanna-be cousin, both who have the disease you describe so hilariously above! Except I only have one bathroom, so if there’s no paper, I’m just hosed.

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