The boy who forgot Mother’s Day

Well Mother’s day is a very strange day. The whole world takes this day to celebrate moms everywhere and what mom means. Society has built up everyone’s expectations to think that a Mother’s Day card (as a minimum), breakfast in bed, flowers, jewellery and dinner out are the least a family can do for their mom. The reality while it sounds fun, Hallmark approves and Hollywood says it is real I would much rather prefer appreciation sprinkled throughout the year as recognition for the contribution I make to my family.

Society has built up everyone’s expectations about Mother’s Day.

At my house the resident’s recognition of Mother’s Day varies by age, interest, mood, perception and available funds (not mention ability to actually remember when the day occurs). You would think the older ones would have this down pat. You might also think those making a disposable income with no dependants (none we are aware of) would be the most likely to come forward with some tangible (hopefully chocolate) token of their appreciation for the concierge services I do provide at my house. Apparently, not so much.

Although I must relate one older one decided on behalf of the younger ones to have a confection concocted out of chocolate (YES!). I was presented several days in advance (the younger ones could not contain themselves…and sadly some of the other tribe member could not be trusted to resist nibbling) with a beautiful, high-heel pump full of butterflies (to remind me of a very dear friend) in full colour all rendered in chocolate! Happy Mother’s Day! This was a custom order from an exclusive chocolatier! It is so beautiful I cannot imagine eating it (far less sharing it with anyone). Upon further investigation I discover that the butterflies were made because one of my kids called all over town to locate butterfly molds and then took a bus to pick them up and deliver them to the chocolate boutique. This Mother’s Day mouth-watering creation was made as a one-of-a-kind…just for me. Delightful!

A beautiful, high-heel pump full of butterflies (to remind me of a very dear friend) in full colour all rendered in chocolate!

So I can say that one older child and some younger ones certainly tried to make my Mother’s Day special. Like the expression goes “There is nothing in life that Chocolate and prayer cannot handle!” This was in addition to the customary goodies many of the grade school kids made including handmade cards, special seedlings and bookmarks.

Another child arrived home from working all day (his part-time job) saying he made the biggest mistake of his life for me. (!!!) After wondering if the police might be at my door (not that uncommon at my house)  or wondering how I might raise bail money… I was delighted to be presented with the “mistake”…a large size soft ice cream! Apparently at the ice cream place where this kid works “the mistakes” are allowed to be saved in the freezer and taken home after the employees’ shift. Scrumptious!

Then there is the man-child creature who totally forgot this year that Mother’s Day was on Sunday. Partially in his defense, he was working almost the whole day. I would easily forgive this except last year the same guy forgot and wished me a happy Mother’s Day last fall (!!).

In order to assist those of us with older and less thoughtful (although predominately male) offspring (and the independently wealthy ones who are too stingy to even spring for a dandelion) I have listed of some very cool “I love you mom” things that do not cost money (the practising of which would bode well for the child’s future with any spouse) and can happen all year round.

Some very cool “I love you mom” things that do not cost money… 

Love Your Mom

Dear Son:

Given that Mother’s Day has eluded you again this year I thought I would help you to express your appreciation and affection for me in ways you can afford and remember.

• Look after your own laundry, yes, YOU, clean it up off the floor and forget living from pile to pile. Oh and if you really want to rock my socks pick up your own! Don’t stop there…wash your own clothes and continue doing it for the remainder of your life! (If you master this your future spouse will rejoice!)

• If you use it…please replace it…yes, that means that when the milk is empty you get out another bag open it and put it back in the fridge so the next person can find the milk ready to pour just like you did. Be sure to keep this one up for the next 365 days! Careful…might become a habit (your future spouse will appreciate).

• Oh yes and while replacing things…the toilet paper belongs replaced on the roll so that when I hit the bathroom I am not hunting (half –dressed or less) through the rest of the house for the basics.

• Please develop a more extensive vocabulary (beyond the customary “Yep, Nope, Uh-huh, Sure and Bye”) for people who although not your friends (per say) do call our family and are victim of your secretarial services.

• Dishes never do themselves. If you are in the kitchen take a moment to contribute to my overall appreciation of you. Unload and/or load the dishwasher. Five minutes out of your day and I would be thrilled. Remember, no man has ever lost his life while doing dishes.

• Learn to anticipate the task I require you to do. Do it before you are asked. This is the key to ensuring wedded bliss in the future.

• Showering is not an “option”, a “nice-to-have” or a “maybe” ….it is a mandatory requirement as long as you live within 500 yards of any other creature on the planet. No, cologne and deodorant are not substitutes for soap and water.

• When using the bathroom please keep the seat down after you use it especially in the middle of the night (this not done could totally “sink” your marriage in the future) and pick up your towel (and whitie-tidies) off the floor.

• A big one is the garbage. Dump the household garbage and put out before it is overflowing, vermin are materializing and/or by-law is at the door. The car is NOT a garbage can (more on that…read below).

• If you borrow the car you clean it and remove your stuff out of it (not to mention replace the gas…do not return home with the tank on EMPTY) also this is not a place to store your laundry or anything else you want to leave behind.

You need not worry about remembering or acknowledging me next Mother’s Day as I will be basking in the glow of how thoughtful and appreciative you were all year round.  In return you will have developed some life skills that will allow you to share your future in hopefully happy accord with a spouse. Sometime perhaps teaching children of your own the mysteries of what a Happy Mother’s Day every day all year-long looks like regardless of your financial status!

Love Your Mom

The Happy Garden Goat

You need not worry about remembering or acknowledging me next Mother’s Day as I will be basking in the glow of how thoughtful and appreciative you were all year round.