Over the summer I had the opportunity to take most of my tribe to an amusement park. Not normally something I have ever really done much in the last twenty years with the exception of once about eight years ago. For some reason the creatures I gave birth to think that riding the most dangerous, mind-blowing insane ride is a thrill they must have… regardless of outcome.
Not totally insensitive to the thrill of the ride, my gang managed to convince this old goat to go on one of the more tame roller coasters. Yes, albeit thrilling…I was just happy to not be calling the coroner besides it reminded me too much of my personal life (minus the antidepressants I long for!).
It completely confounds me that when the same creatures are sick (at home) and one must attend to the weak of stomach ANYTHING that causes the gastric volcano to erupt must be avoided. At ALL costs. Not so with rides. The more severe the warning, the more nauseous the result, the better they liked it. I have children who would howl in such disgust should a sibling cover their person (and/or worse their clothes) with any projectile liquid originating from within another’s body (the worst being the contents of a sibling’s stomach contents).
But this is somehow totally different at an amusement park. “Mister-all-of-18” who is totally “grossed out” at having to clean up a frying pan after scrambled eggs is busy laughing (while covered in the sibling’s throw up) basking in the notoriety that it was his decision to take his poor 16-year-old brother on too many dizzying rides.
I asked the idiot question of the child that was now almost comatose from dehydration “why AFTER you were sick the FIRST time would you ever consent to going on ANOTHER ride with your brother?” Little did I know that plain old common sense was invoked and the rationale was to “MAN UP!” Now the same boy, still covered in vile stomach contents actually assured the offending brother (the spewer) of the safety of yet other death-defying rides with this statement….“OBVIOUSLY there was no MORE DOWN THERE to worry about…it already came up.!”
Clearly these two have spent NO time taking care of sick children or they would have known that when it comes to throwing up there are those so talented that repeat performances are infinitely possible. And such performances often leave the observer wondering how after numerous retchings could there possibly be anything more than a few drops to expel. (??) Those (who toss their cookies) are able to consistently deliver copious amounts of liquid regardless of the volume of past performances (even if only moments prior). Before this gets just too “gross” the idea is that while abdominal volcanic eruptions regularly deem that a sick day be taken for school apparently similar eruptions do not mean a cessation in going on freaky rides. (???)
At first I had no idea what had happened. When you travel with the numbers I do often we split up the older kids and the younger ones as these kinds of theme parks gear the rides by the age group. The two older boys went together when we got there to explore and have fun until supper when they would be expected to help out with the younger group. We would rendezvous at the van (in the parking lot) at suppertime for a picnic lunch. Well suppertime came and when I approached the van the sight in the distance before me said it all. When you drive a 12 passenger extended van it shines as a beacon above all the other vehicles in the parking lot. As I get closer to the van I notice two running shoes kicked aside and a crumpled pair of jeans (complete with belt) and a rolled up shirt strewn on the pavement near the back tires. Briefly considered the possibility that some prison inmate had escaped and was holed up in our vehicle.
Nah.. discovered the owner of the clothes (my 16-year-old son) stretched out on the back seat wearing only his boxers because he had thrown up so much from the rides. The patient was not interested in any food and wanted Advil for his headache and dizziness. I told the man-child inmate to remain in the van, sip some water slowly and to rest while waiting until the end of the evening when we would be back at the vehicle to load up and go home. Minutes later this same kid was dressed in a new set of clothes and ready to go for “round two.” When I asked “why?” (again)… I was told that he was going to “MAN UP” as it he did not want to “WIMP OUT!”
Speed up the calendar. School has started the same man-child now has the sniffles and does not want to go to school. When I suggest that he “man up” and not “wimp out” just take cold medication and go to school (you know like I might have when I was younger)…I get told to “get real!” Apparently at school they “understand” children better than the parents and know that kids get sick and can’t function when they are sick. Who knew? Thinking of sending the holiday pics to the principal… (!!!)
The Garden Goat (still without sufficient medication)!
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