Got Milk? …Nope

There are things in life that are certain…and others that remain a mystery.

Disappearance of milk (the groceries in general) at my house falls into both categories.

“The certainty is that as much milk as I buy will disappear. “

It always disappears and how this happens remains a mystery. Okay, yes, I have a small village living at my house and should understand than any grocery item is but a mere hologram in time until consumed, but still, the stats do not add up.

The certainty is that as much milk as I buy will disappear. This milk is of no particular specialty just the regular 2% milk, four litres to a bag. Chocolate milk is different. (It disappears within minutes regardless of the quantity purchased.)

I have friends that share their horror stories of how their young children have to be bribed to consume any milk. Apparently, those genes are not in my offspring … (neither are my genes present either  … something else to blame on the husband)! I had a significant milk allergy in my youth and had one child suffer anaphylaxis on contact with milk (thankfully the allergy was outgrown).

When I had a bottle fed baby/toddler in the house, I would wait until under the cover of night (11:30 pm as the store was open to midnight) to slip out to the local drugstore and buy milk. That was the only way I could be sure there would be milk for the baby in the morning as by then the teenagers were fast asleep. The drugstore crowd could almost set their watches nightly by the time I was regularly known to show up and purchase the better part of half-a cow’s worth of the stuff!

… this goat has to sneak out nightly to replenish the cow juice!

I mentioned my midnight activities to a good friend (a gal with a family as large as mine) who found it rather entertaining that this goat has to sneak out nightly to replenish the cow juice so that there is still SOME milk left in the mornings for the baby. Other than being this friend’s source of momentary entertainment…I thought little of it. Then came Christmas time, the doorbell rings and here is this friend telling me to come outside and see the present she got me for Christmas. I open the back of her SUV only to reveal about a dozen bags of milk! This gal thought that the gift of time would be useful to for the “mother of many” and, therefore, save me a week’s worth of travelling should I take her advice and freeze the forbidden serum.

That seemed to work though the natives complained that the frozen milk was unappetizing (Yay…this way it will last longer). Due to the kindness of my friend I was able to skip a few midnight excursions. Just to be in the drugstore (again) at the end of the week and have the manager rush up to me and say “Oh I am so glad you are okay…when we did not see you we thought something terrible had happened…like you had died!”

Got Milk FINALLY!

Died …I did…laughing. The baby/toddler child is now older so my nightly trips are no longer as important nor does the night staff at the store miss me (although I am sure that my consistent investment in the drugstore is mourned). In an effort to control the food budget, I am thinking of only buying for one day at a time. While frustrating for the teenagers it may be rewarding for my savings account…stay tuned!

The Garden Goat